Traveling Together

WHETHER YOUR EUROPEAN VACATION IS A ROMANTIC GETAWAY FOR JUST THE TWO OF YOU, A FAMILY VACATION WITH THE KIDS OR AN ADVENTURE WITH OLD FRIENDS OR NEW TOUR ACQUAINTANCES, HERE'S HOW TO MAKE YOUR HOLIDAY HAPPIER.

You've looked forward to your vacation all year. But instead of relaxation, you and your traveling companions have a two week argument. It is common to experience unusual amounts of tension while on vacation--and going to Europe is no different. Vacations disrupt our every day patterns, and that often leads to feelings of frustration.

How can you prevent these Holiday Horrors?

--Create and maintain a routine while traveling--For example, make it a routine to go over specifics for next 24 hours after breakfast or dinner. Or--"always find the Train Information when you come into a new town to find out when trains leave for your next destination before you go see your sights or go to your hotel." Jot down your trip routines and share them with your co-travelers. "Group Think" can be helpful as you all are getting them established.

--Plan your trip together. Study your destinations or share travel books, videos, or classes. Make a list of all the things your group needs to plan for and divide it among the members. If it is a family vacation, include the Kids. Take time to teach the kids about some of the differences you will likely encounter from customs, money, toilets, to Jet Lag! The book TAKE YOUR KIDS TO EUROPE, by Cynthia W. Harriman has a lot of suggestions on how to do this.

--Discuss money matters before you leave. To head off family arguments or hard feelings , decide before you leave how much money to bring, how to spend it, and which credit cards you will use. For non- related groups decide how you will fairly divide up group expenses such as transportation, picnics, lodging, etc. See TERC article "Europe on a Budget" for expense list. Remember, everyone (kids & adults) need some $ budgeted they can spend any way they like without being judged for it.

--Give each other space. Travel brings more physical closeness with others and "group thinking" than most of us are use to. Add to this an urge to cling together until you all feel at ease functioning in a foreign country. Talking to your co-travelers about how each of you create personal space is a first step towards packing light stress-wise. Another is; planing activities where you can split off from each other and meet later. Accept and respect someone's need to stay in their room--sleep through some of "the most gorgeous scenery"--or sit in a different train compartment. They likely aren't being moody or rejecting you but taking subconscious space. And for groups with mixed sexes remember guys & gals of all ages handle this issue differently. Women, the sooner you leave a guy alone--the quicker he will come out of his "cave".   --and no hovering out side, according to Dr. J. Gray.

And men, when us gals want time out many of us want you to peek in periodically and ask how we are. You know, all those awful things we mistakenly do to you!

--Couples, make time for romance. If you are traveling with another couple, plan some evenings away from each other. If you are traveling with the children, schedule some time without them. Hire a sitter and go out for a romantic dinner or picnic. Men, surprise her with a flower or a boat ride. Women find out where you can find his favorite dessert, or entertainment.

--Be considerate of others and yourself. Travel is intensified living. Expect some mishaps to occur and as quick as possible find a way to enjoy them. Laugh at your self--never at others. And if something really bugs you--share it with TERC and we can all learn for the next trip.

By Mele Fujiwara, MSW & TERC Travel Consultant

Check out these TERC articles and web sites for more information:

     Jet Lag --How to Handle it Tips on preparing for this eventuality 

     Readers Report on Traveling with Others

     SEARCH This Site

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